dumbbro:

Various Frat Boys: DO you think he will be okay?

Prez: They always are, there never grateful at first. 

VFB: Oh, he’s waking up!

-What the hell

Prez: Good morning Jeremy

-Uh that’s not my name

Prez: My bad, can you tell us your name?

-Uhh yeah, its uhhh shit why can’t I think?

Prez: Let me explain this to you real Slow Jeremy, we needed numbers for our frat and you were at our party. So we slipped you a little something and you have been out for a couple of months. 

-Dude! What the fuck would you do that for?

Prez: YOu told me bro you were miserable, working on a PhD, you hated it. So I decided to help you and make you happier. 

-What? 

Prez: I have a surgeon frend, he does all different kinds of surgery. So I asked him to take out some of the parts that were making you unhappy, up in your brain you know? SO he did that, now reading and numbers are going to be terribly hard, but he made sure you could still talk. Then he did some plastic surgery, transformed you into this. 

Jeremy: I want to be mad, but I am so fucking horned bro

Prez: Good, welcome to the frat Jeremy. We will take real god care of you .

Jeremy:Sweet bro

Source: rawworld

dumbbro:

Bbro: Hey there dumbass, how you feeling?

Me: Wat the fuk dude, I ain’t no dumbass. Fuk I got two fucking uh umm I went to college.

Bbro: Oh yeah lil bro? Tell me about what you learne in school

Me: Uhhh ummmm, damn Im horny bro

Bbro: Those supplements really worked, soon you will forget your old life.YOu should probably have an IQ of 85 dumbass

Me: You fukin stole my life bro, 

Bbro: Naw bro, I gave you a better life. You won’t be much good at anything, other than bein a bro, havin sex and pumpin iron brah

Me: So ahrd, so hard to think brah

Bbro: Don’t worry, once you cum all the chemicals become permanent bro

Me: Uh huhuhhuh sweet bro, youre the best

Source: testosterotica

fratarmyjock:

My parents divorced when I was fourteen. Mom got me and Dad got my little brother Trent- I hadn’t seen either of them since. After I finished college I went up to my Dad’s house and was more than a little surprised at what I saw. Dad had joined the army after the Divorce I knew that but the house was run like a military base a bed time mandatory workouts he even had the bugle wake us up each morning. Trent surprised me too, last I had seen of him he was a nerdy little dweeb now he stood six foot four with solid muscle.

“This is crazy man it’s like Dad’s gone insane how can you stand it.”

“You get used to it besides Dad’ll keep you in shape. If you’re good you get a reward.”

I didn’t know what the reward was and I wasn’t gonna stick around to find out the next morning earlier than Dad’s wake up call even I sent him a message that I would go stay with a friend and I thanked him for the chance to catch up. I had barley gotten to the door before I heard a voice behind me. “Is that any way to talk to your commanding officer?”

My body went rigid and my back stood erect. “Sir no Sir!” I heard myself shouting.

“That’s what I thought.” I turned around to face my father a smirk on his face. “Trends already done with his workout go join him in the shower and we’ll decide what to do with you. It ain’t gonna be easy making this up to me.” I ran upstairs seeing my brother in the shower was quite a shock wearing only an orange jockstrap. “We don’t get naked until every soldier joins us.” My father said as I started to strip. I looked him and saw my old man as Trent saw him. Not a Dad at least not in the traditional sense but a Drill Sargent. He was in charge and we would do as we were told.