yodawgthuglife:

Backward cap, shades, fave tank.
Baller shorts, protein shake, Nike Air Max.
Passenger in his own car, driving somewhere, mildly confused.

“Hey… uh, where’d you say we were goin again? How come I feel so fuckin’ weird…”

“Don’t worry bro. It’s all for the best. Just relax.”

“The… fuck? Did you drug me?”

“Just relax bro…”

Compelled. Muscles relax. Muscles shift. Muscles smiles.

“Some of your old self is still hangin on. What’s your name, bro? Tell me your name.”

Greg. It was Gr – “Muscles,” he said.

The driver laughed, barked, almost. “Hahaha bro, that’s just a nickname. Not your real name. What’s your real name?”

Greg! It was – “Muscles,” he said again, thickly. A vacant, dumb grin sprouted helplessly over his mouth.

“One more time, bro… try again.”

Gr – “Muscles, Muscles, Muscles!” He said, triumphantly, and flexed a double bicep pose like a flourish.

“Well, if you say so. Dumbass.”

Muscles nodded, and laughed, a low, dumb sound. “We goin’ to gym?”

“Yup, gym.”

Muscles liked the sound of that.

One of my faves

maxhockeyjock:

Yea, bro, I can see you starin at me. Wishin you was me. Check out this gun, bro. I can see you like it too. Its my pride and fuckin joy.

I used to be like you, bro. Lookin at other dudes and thinkin, fuck, thats who I wanna be. Yea, its hard to look away from my gun, aint it? Huhuhuh, dont lie bro. You cant stop fuckin lookin. Bet its even turnin you on, bro. Thats cool, bro. Guys get fuckin hard all the time when they see me showin off my gun.

See, now your gonna want one of your own aint ya bro? Man, it pumps up so fuckin nice bro. Just think, you layin here next to me us both in our UA shorts flexin an grinnin an everyones fuckin lookin at us.. cmon bro, you know you fuckin want that badder then anything, dont you. I can see it in your eyes bro, that lil spark … dude thats whats gonna get you to the fuckin gym bro, liftin, workin out, bro. All for a sweet set of guns and a killer ripped body.

Course, theres some tradeoffs. Ya gotta focus so hard on liftin an shit that alot of other stuff kinda gets dropped. Stuff ya thought you wanted to do and be… but seriously bro. Isnt it fuckin worth it? I mean, check out my fuckin gun… keep starin. Your gonna be an awesome bro. I can fuckin tell.

Source: classicbros

maxhockeyjock:

hmmm… what was i just doin? i remember sittin down, and there was this funny voice in my head…

– Don’t give in! Don’t let them win!

Huh…? What was that?

– You’re a smart guy! You wanna be smart! Don’t let them win…!

Huhuhuhuh… sounds funny, but I dunno what th fuck ur talkin about bro. Who are u?

– I’m you! Don’t you remember? You got caught in that rainstorm, and you had to run into that house… you were soaked, and that nice guy gave us this pair of basketball shorts while our clothes are drying out, but they’re… doing something to our, to your, to my… uhhh…

Huhuhuh…. oh yea. I member now. Rainin, all wet.

– fuck… its gettin harder to fight…

Fuck, these shorts are fuckin killer bro… so comfy. wish i could wear em all th time…

– no….

Maybe ill ask Max Gearhead if i can keep em huhuh hes got like 30 pares.

– fuck….

yea Max is my Nu bro. i think im gonna like it here.

– you lost… i lost …

naw bro. i fuckin win. Nu for life brah!!

Source: chrisevansbf

maxhockeyjock:

We’re gonna take your brains and split em up between us. I’m gonna be a doctor, Cliff’s gonna be a lawyer, and Brian’s gonna be … uh, somethin else smart. You? You’re just gonna focus on your muscles and working out, bro. That’s what you want, isn’t it? Mind-fucked and dumb. We deserve it anyway, and we know you agree. Get ready, “bro.” Here it comes….

“Uh here wha comes?”

“Yeah that’s it dude, I can feel his brains already”

"Huhuhuh what am I doin’ here I gotta hit the fuckin gym bro!”