I wanna be real for a minute

I know I’ve been busy guys and I’m sorry about that, today I helped out a club I’m in at college with a project about body image. And because of what I typically post here I just felt the need to post this. I know in here and often in tf we use these ideals and these stereotypes, everyone wants to be the mindless jock guy or the loud drunken Irishmen, or the dumb hippy stoner, etc. I post pics of guys that I have no idea where they came from or if they have been edited or idealized or whatever. So I just wanna say aside from tf being Hot, if you don’t look like the macho jock type of guys I post that’s perfectly ok. You are you and you are wonderful the way you are, don’t use tf to judge yourself, I myself am far from a cool jock in real life. So continue having fun on here but never judge yourself and be confident in who are you, don’t get too wrapped up in what you wanna become. Thanks for reading my rant. I love all you guys.

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

strangely-normal:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

peppersheart:

alittlebiteverything:

i’m 101% sure that this entire line was improv and tom couldn’t help it

“Yeah, that was basically, we did about six different versions of that story, and that was just us standing around while the cameras were rolling and I would just feed them lines and feed Chris ideas for stories. I’d say, “Do another one, in this one say: ‘I was walking through a field, and I saw a lovey Turkish rug in the middle of the grass, and I love Turkish rugs, so I went to stand on it, and it was Loki, and he turned back into Loki and there was a hole and I fell through the hole was was impaled on a whole lot of spikes.’” So we did versions of that, and the one with the snake just ended up being the one we used.”

—Taika Waititi, Empire Magazine Podcast, 6/11/17, 00:23:25 (x)

AMAZING

I choose to beliee every version of this story is true

and is just a different tale of when Loki turned into something ridiculous

and tried to murder his brother

I don’t know what makes this funnier, the idea that Loki kept trying the same prank, or that Thor kept falling for it.

Thor: OH LOOK A PUPPY

Loki: WAAAAUUUGGGHHHHH

Thor: OH NO IT’S YOU AGAIN!

Wait so Loki tried to murder you at 8, and as adults in the first movie you still completely trusted him and was shocked when you found out he was causing all the problems? Thor you are dense

dumb-and-jocked:

For @joshwillistf
———————————————————————————————
It had been a nice, sunny morning at the beach when Josh and I had set up our picnic area. We laid out or blankets and food as the two of us began to relax. Both of us lay in the sun with our swim shorts, ready to get a good tan. Two buddies in the sun; what else could you possibly want? Well our Phy-Ed Teacher was about to show us.

You see, it seemed that Coach Sorenson (as he requested everyone to call him) and his son, Jack, had to decided to take a nice trip to the beach as well. I got a little nervous and it seemed as if Josh was scared as well; for both of us skipping and avoiding gym didn’t earn us a good reputation with that end of the school. It wasn’t they we weren’t fit; we just were lazy and had better things to do.

“Hey Declan! Hey Josh!” He said in a comical voice. He was as happy as a child but his voice was so deep it caught Josh and I off guard.

“Hello, Mr. Sorenson,” Josh said, getting up slowly with myself following.

“Coach,” he corrected, and after shaking our hands motioned himself to his son, “and this is my son, Jack.”

“Hello,” he said, his voice was somehow deeper and more intimidating. Everyone in town knew Jack Sorenson. He was a big thing in sports back in the day, but had been the smallest in the mental department. As Josh and I shook hands with Jack, some white stuff rubbed off and got all over our fingers.

“Eww,” Josh mumbled and tried to rub it off.

“What is this stuff?” I asked, as it began to slowly weep into my skin.

“Oh sorry,” Jack replied, “just some homemade sunscreen. Guess I didn’t massage it in quite enough.”

Coach Sorenson looked at us an began to start a new conversation.
“So have you two signed up for the baseball team yet?”

“What do you mean?” Josh asked. I looked at him inquisitively; had his muscles always been so defined?

“Well, both of you look certainly strong enough.” As soon as Coach Sorenson said this, Josh and I pounded on muscle. We both grew a few inches taller, him just one more than me, but my pecs began to push farther out. Our thighs began to pulse and expand as our hands grew rougher and meatier; meant for catching and throwing baseballs.

“And I know the two of you always showed up to your gym classes.”

With that memories of playing video games in dorms or doing homework became attending the gym daily and helping support each other with lifting weights. As our thoughts readjusted, Jack began to smirk lightly as Coach continued.

“You guys obviously have the feet to run back to home base.”

With that, our feet began to expand. Josh became longer yet thinner, and stretched out past his sandals. New memories of him in the Swim & Dive Team flooded into my mind. Blond hairs became to creep up to his toes. Mine on the other hand grew outwards and thicker as memories of football flooded my mind. Dark black hairs crawled across my now Size 15 feet, just like how the blond did for Josh’s Size 14.

“And look at all the hair on your body, that signifies that both of you are real men and only real men do sports.

Hair began to crawl across our bodies. Blonde hair cascaded onto Josh’s chest, legs, and arms, but they were short to give Josh better scores at swim meets. Black hair hit my legs and arms, but it didn’t appear on my chest because I remembered that I didn’t want chest hair until I was 30. Hair filled our armpits and soon a vile, frattish scent began to waft around all of us. But as I smelled it more, I began to enjoy it. It was the scent of a real man, and I thought that everyone should enjoy it.

“You two also aren’t too bright, so sports is really the only way to go.”

Coach Sorenson smiled as we both began to feel dumber. I saw Josh’s eyes grow dull and grey as his intellect drifted away. I bet I looked exact same. As the cloud began to settle in however I felt almost better. Everything seemed simpler and easier. I smiled and chuckled a dumb laugh as I looked at Josh who was drooling. I always had to take care of him cause he was so dumb; and at an IQ of 80 he was almost on the line of retardation. I wasn’t to far behind though at 86.

“And with those studly faces and those pouches, I don’t think that you guys could be anything but jocks.”

Josh and I had always been straight, but when we saw Coach Sorenson and Jack pull down their speedoes and pull out their near foot long cocks; both Josh and I dropped like a ton of bricks. I began to work on Jack’s and Josh worked on Coach’s. As we sucked, we felt our faces rearrange and our dicks grow. Our Adam’s apples pushed out as our higher moans become deep, brutish groans. My face began to age a little ore as I grew in a dark beard while Josh’s became more mature and sexy. I felt Jack’s testicles rub up against me as I deep-throated him, and by the noises coming from besides me I was pretty sure Josh was doing the same. My face was in the forest of pubes when I heard Jack and Coach cum in our mouths. The cum traveled through our systems into our balls, which began to grow and become hairier as the jock cum mutated inside of us. Our cock grew and grew until finally at 8 inches (in which we would learn would stay like that) we blew our loads. Our minds settled in as the final memories were placed. Josh and I were the most popular couple in town. Everyone knew our faces, and after school we would move to the big leagues of baseball and modeling. Both of us were top and bottom, and we would make sure to have sex at least twice day.

“So, did you two sign up for the baseball team?” Coach Sorenson asked, pulling his speedo up as we did with ours.

“Of course, bro!” We replied in unison as we began to walk back to our spot.

“Oh Declan!” Coach called me back as Jack brought Josh to the seashore, groping him.

“Wassup Coach?”

“You still got some sunscreen on you,” he knelt down and licked the darker spot on my speedo.

“Oh sorry, Coach!” I said as he came back up.

“No problem, Declan,” he replied smiling before grabbing my bubble butt, “you’ll just owe me later.”

dumb-and-jocked:

It was a beautiful day in the middle of June. The sun was shining, the birds were flying, and it couldn’t have been better. You lived in Toronto, but your old college roommate invited you over for a party in the Twin Cities. The flight took a while, but once you got there you knew you had made the right choice. A skinny nerd like you would never be noticed in a crowd of people. You’re to short and pasty, and you just had a bad breakout; but it was outside of the airport that suddenly you heard someone calling you.

“Hey!” Someone said, “Yeah I’m talking to you!”

You looked over to see a man in his early forties or fifties. He was sitting down with his phone and a dog. Even though you get a major turn on anytime you see any part of a woman; You had to admit that this guy was amazing. It was almost as if he was meant to be worshipped.

“You’re Jude, right?” He asked, putting his phone in his pocket and walking over. He must’ve been 6’4", and compared to you he was like a giant. You could smell his masculinity pouring into your system.

“Yes,” you quivered, “why?”

“I will be your ride to the party,” he said, “my name is Todd.”

It was then that you walked to his car and got in. You didn’t know the man, or even think about texting your roommate, it was just that he seemed so trustable in a fatherly sort of way. He drove you to this small house only 30 minutes east of the airport. He grabbed your bags as you walked into the house, but what you didn’t see was he tossed them into the neighbor’s dumpster. You looked around and noticed the old house was sort of, familiar, almost as if it was deja vu.

“You will be staying here,” Todd said, pointing to a small room. It has a old, full size bed with multiple yellowish stains on it and it smelled of masculinity. There was an old television set and a game system with lots of sport games. Usually, this would’ve grossed you out but for some reason you were turned on. The room also had several weights that made it look like a homemade gym. The weirdest part however was that there were old, worn out jocks, baseball caps, gym shirts, shorts and shoes astray. Again, this would’ve bothered you but you didn’t care at all.

“I hope you enjoy,” Todd said, smirking, and than placing a backwards cap on your head. Suddenly you were thirsty.

“Do you have anything to drink?” You asked.

“Ah yes!” He walked over to the fridge and grabbed a cloudy, white mixture.

“What is it?” You asked as he handed it to you.

“Just a homemade protein shake,” he smirked again as you chugged it down. It was very salty and slimy, but you thought that it had to be good for you. You felt something run op against your tongue as you pulled out small hairs.

“Those would be my pubes and armpit hairs,” Todd said.

“Your what?”

“Prunes and apricot hairs,” Todd answered. You swear you heard something different but whatever. You gulped down the rest of your drink in a matter of seconds.

“Well, thank you for the drink,” you said as you walked to your room.

“No problem,” Todd smiled, “you better relax before the big day tomorrow!”
You closed the door to your room and jumped in the nasty bed. You didn’t even realize that your clothes were gone. As you smelled the bed, your plaid shirt began to feel a little tight, along with your skinny jeans and Size 7 Converse. You began to pull your close off, noticing that your skin looked a little darker. But wasn’t it always this color? As you pulled of your shirt, it revealed two, huge pecs that would attract any lady in a mile radius. At first you were confused but than you remembered all the hard months and years it took to earn these babies. Suddenly, your pecs were covered in a gracious coat of brown hair that stunk to the high heavens. As you smelt away, your biceps and triceps began to grow, each sniff inflating them like balloons. Your armpits began to fill up with hair. Dark, brown curls flowed out so far that there would be no where to hide them; and the smell could make any man get hard. You remembered that you never wore deodorant because only prissy people would mask their scent. After that, your hands followed suit, getting bigger and manlier. Your once frail, cursive writing hands were now paws that weren’t meant for catching, throwing, and jacking off.

Your legs began to stretch and grow longer. Your quads pumped up as your calves expanded. Your height reached a peak of 6’3" as your thighs ballooned out. You remembered having the nickname ‘Thunder-thighs’ by your teammates and late night hookups. As your thighs became stronger, you butt began to lift you up from the bed, starting to shorts. The bubble but began to stretch as you farted, trying to sniff in as much manliness as you could.

Your shoes fell in line, starting to get really tight. You watched as your feet sexily broke through, growing bigger and bigger. No more ballet or ice skating with these huge boats as thoughts of football, basketball, and soccer flooded your mind. Your feet kept growing until they were so big you could would be able to float. Your mind told you however that you have always had Size 16 Feet, and oh did you have a foot fetish.

Next was the smell of your feet. You were already feeling dizzy from your armpits, but your feet could knock someone out. You brought your foot to your face and let the scent cloud your mind. You felt a cloud settle over as you smelled. Your IQ began to drop; memories of studying and 4.0’s became memories of sports, sex, and passing grades.

Lastly was your cook and testicles. Your shorts has already bursted apart and your underwear was currently doing the same. You looked at the clothes on the floor and picked up a dirty jock and mesh shorts. You put them to your face, smelling them while jacking off. Your cock got hard, harder than it’s ever been before. You had a modest size of 4 inches before, but the ladies never enjoyed that. Your cock began to grow. At 5 inches you began to lick the jock. At 6, your balls began to expand. 7, the ladies in your mind began to change to men. 8, your Adam’s apple bulged forward proudly bring your voice down multiple octaves to a resounding low bass. 9 and your balls became the size of kumquats. And at 10, your cock burst all over you. Your cum bursted all over the room, expelling your IQ permanently oUt of your body. Hair spread like wildfire all of your body, your legs, thighs, and butt getting hit the hardest. Your face reshaped to a much sexier, manlier, alpha look. A beautiful, light stubble appeared as your hair receded and got into a jock cut, turning from a harsh black to a dark chocolate brown. Your jaw squared as your head became larger to fit the emptiness inside. Your once brilliant mind was now at an IQ of 79. You looked at the floor, took a sniff of one of the Nikes you shared with your dad, and grabbed a used jockstrap that you saw still had some warm cum in it. You brought it to your face and licked some of it.

“Mm,” you said, “it’s dad’s.”

You placed the jockstrap onto your cock and felt the warm cum envelop your whole 10 inches, almost ripping it. You loved the feeling of the jockstrap, but you hated the fact that you had to wear clothes.

“Jack?” Your dad knocked on the door, “can I come in?”

“Yeah dad!” Todd walked into the room, looking proudly at his son. He was playing soccer on the television as well as he does in reality. Todd and Jack had always been close because there ages were so close. They were only 15 years apart, because Todd starting getting laid when he was in middle school. When he got a girl pregnant, he decided to drop high school and take care of his boy as a single parent. Todd made sure that Jack was the perfect jock just like he once was. He made sure Jack dropped out of high school and fucked any guy he met. They wore the same clothes and shoes, and took bathes together. The 44 year old dad and 29 year old son were as happy as they could be. Todd was so lucky that Jack was gay, because Todd himself was bisexual. Todd pulled out his 11 inch cock and looked at his son with a stern face.

“Time to suck, son.”

“Yes daddy!”

dumb-and-jocked:

“So, you’re my new tutor, right?” Isaac said, walking over to where I was sitting. Isaac Polsen was the most popular person in the high school; for after he won the state championship for basketball his whole life had been getting better and better. He was good looking, smart, and got every girl and, according to the rumors, guy he could have ever wanted. Not only did he have the perfect life, but he was also rich and was planned to be on the states NBA team when he was old enough.

I on the other hand was short, lanky, pale, and forgettable. The only thing I had going for me was that I was good in Calculus, and that’s what brought Isaac to me.

“Yeah, my name is Stephen.” I stuck out my hand and he shook It vigorously.

“I’m Isaac.” It was funny he would mention that even though he probably knew that everyone knew his name.

“Let’s start on page 729.” I flipped open to the page as he pulled out a basketball to twirl. As I talked, Isaac began to spin
the basketball over and over on top of his finger. Every now and then I would look up to see if he was catching on, and he would give me a simple nod and then I would glance back down and begin again. Except every time I looked up, it took me longer to get back down. There was something about that ball that was making me lose my interest. I started to get hotter and a little sweaty until finally I heard Isaac say;

“Look up.”

I did, and this time I didn’t try to glance back down; I just stayed. He smiled and began to closer to my face from across the table.

“You see, Stephen, I didn’t need you to tutor me,” he smiled again and sat back down, “I was here to tutor you, isn’t that right?”

Suddenly something clicked open in my head. Thoughts began whirring out of my head as I looked at him. My numerous facts and ideas drifted away until there was nearly nothing left except some basic knowledge.

“But I wasn’t here to tutor you in math was I? I was here to tutor you in basketball.”

He tossed me the basketball and as soon I as I had caught it, my body began to become tense. My legs began to stretch underneath the table until my height reached 6”7’. My arms, biceps, triceps, and quads began to bulk up with muscles as my thighs and calves became as strong as steal. My flat stomach sucked in a little to form a nearly visible six pack. My hands began to grow thicker and meatier to help support the basketball. Calluses began to form to help show the years of hard work I had done. My feet began to expand in my shoes, going up slowly. By Size 11, my shirt ripped to shreds. Size 12 and my pants were stretching to the limit as hair began to flood across my body. Size 13 and my brown hair became I dusty, dumb blonde. Size 14 and my neck began to grow as my Adam’s apple pushed forward proudly. Size 15 and my had became bigger and more brutish, but in a sexier, young adult way. My hair got cut a little shorter as a small beard grew in. My memories began to be replaced by getting laid with my bros and drinking. D’s and F’s were becoming my new grades as my IQ hit 83. My cock expanded in my underwear, which had transformed to a pair of Calvin Klein. As my feet reached Size 16, my cock reached 9 inches and my newly acquired bull nuts burst all over me and partly on Isaac. My old life is blew out and my new, basketball jock life settled in.

“Now are you ready for your tutoring session, brah?”

“After one more, bro, and no homo.”

“Ok, Steven, but let’s make this quick.”

dumb-and-jocked:

You hadn’t known why you wanted listen to Coach Sorenson so bad, you just knew that you couldn’t masturbate.

What you didn’t know was that Coach Sorenson had been planning this for months; seeing your weak and nerdy self walking down the hallway made him sick, and he wanted to fix you. The super, super senior Logan Halls had finally graduated, which left the wrestling team captain position open. You were passing with flying colors, graduating this year as a junior; but Coach Sorenson thought that you could be much more successful in life.

At the beginning of the day you were called down to his office, like it was just any other day. You knew that Todd Sorenson was the best known coach in the state; with his son being one of the top high school wrestlers in his glory days. As you sat in Coach Sorenson’s office; you began to smell something. It was strong and pungent, and you were getting a little turned on by the smell of Alpha Male. You looked around the office, trying to find the smell, until you came upon an old American Eagle sleeveless shirt. You smelled it deeply, noticing multiple cum stains. For some reason, you wanted to wear the nasty old cum rag. The old you would’ve reported the cum rag disgustedly, but this new you wanted to put it on. You slowly took of your polo shirt and placed on the XXL shirt over your frail body. It was then that Coach Sorenson strolled in.

“Oh, so it looks like you found my cum rag,” he said, smirking.
You didn’t make a single noise, you just stood there. The rag still to your nose. Coach Sorenson walked over to the trash can and pulled out a used condom, filled to the brim.

“Wouldn’t you rather have the real stuff?

He handed you the condom and you graciously drank it down. The warm goo flowed down your stomach, making you feel warm.

“Oh,” he said, looking through this desk, “you can have these too.”
He tossed: an old, yellowed jockstrap that was far too stretched, a pair of smelly, cum-stained mesh shorts, an old baller cap, and a pair of Size 14 Nikes that stunk to high heavens. You began to adoringly place the clothes on. You didn’t put on the shoes however, instead you brought them to your face.

“Those were my son’s when he was 14,” Coach Sorenson said as you noticed him getting hard thinking about his son. As you had put on the gear, you hadn’t noticed that you were now 6"3, or that you had gained almost 70 pounds of pure muscle. The stench of Todd and Jack Sorenson had now absorbed into your body as you began producing your own. Your legs were now long and hairy, in which you loved to wrap around your opponents. Your feet had grown to a gargantuan Size 14, perfect for your new shoes. Your bi’s and tri’s expanded as your body was covered in hair, especially in your armpits were you would make the challenger faint. Your pecs and eight pack grew larger than ever before as your cock and balls heated up. They grew and grew until you were permanently horse hung with your bull nuts. Your neck grew thick and your mouth produced a deep moan. Your head go much larger and squarer as your shaggy hair was cut to the perfect buzz. Your face became sexier as your IQ began to drain to your swollen bull nuts. Each point of IQ lost made you go from a unknown nerd to high school king. You knew you couldn’t masturbate, but it was just so hard. Coach Sorenson needed you, and you couldn’t let him down. As you blew your load your life transformed around you. You were now Chad Carlson, super junior wrestling star. You couldn’t let your team down and academics couldn’t stop you. With an IQ of 89 it was pretty hard anyways.

“Did that feel better?” Coach asked, and gosh was he sexy.

“Yes,” You said, helping him lick up your cum, “a lot.”

freckletriangleofdoom:

Net neutrality is the principle that Internet providers like Comcast & Verizon should not control what we see and do online. In 2015, startups, Internet freedom groups, and 3.7 million commenters won strong net neutrality rules from the US Federal Communication Commission (FCC). The rules prohibit Internet providers from blocking, throttling, and paid prioritization—"fast lanes" for sites that pay, and slow lanes for everyone else.

John Oliver on the danger of ending net neutrality:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fpbOEoRrHyU

On what ending net neutrality means for us:

https://www.buzzfeed.com/alexkantrowitz/fcc-moves-to-roll-back-net-neutrality?utm_term=.ds0OQ5QM#.djMoxJxy

Time to call your members of Congress, again.

Pretty soon my Congress people are gonna be on a first name basis with me because it seems like over other week I’m calling to protect my rights. Wtf america

did you ever track down all of the maxhockeyjock stories? i remember seeing them around, but the page eventually shut down if i’m not mistaken~

Correct he did shut it down, which sucks he was my inspiration to start mine. I have the stories I did save under the hashtag playernumber37 because that was a second username he used, it includes stories written under both names, I don’t think I have them all but I have a decent number

hypnothrill:

Jared couldn’t remember very much about last night’s beach party, but he knew that he had, like, a whole new purpose now. Forget about going back to school after break, he and the other guys were gonna stay on the beach, like, forever, and have parties every night. And in the day, just lay out on the beach and surf and just be naked all the time. 

Cause for some reason, he didn’t want to wear clothes anymore. Except maybe some board shorts if he went out to get some food, or to meet some cool dudes to invite to their beach parties. Cause that was real important too, now, finding hot young dudes and bringing them to the party. Jared just knew somehow it would change their whole, like, outlook on life, and then they could hang together. And maybe fuck.

Huh, he hadn’t realized he was into fucking dudes until now. But that was cool. No, more than cool: awesome. He looked over at Ron, who was taking off his board shorts, and then at their buds playing out in the water, and his dick started to get hard. 

“Dudes, wait up for me!” he called, then ran out to join in the fun…