He posted the pic online not remembering that in doing so he was spreading the virus. It was like a computer virus called redneck.jpg
No one knows exactly who started it or with what picture. But any male who viewed it, regardless of age or where they lived, would begin getting these redneck urges. Being shirtless, wearing cowboy hats, boots, jeans and big belt buckles. They wanted to move out to the country (or move to America if they had originally been foreigners). They would work out outside to get tan and nice muscles. And finally after a few months they would be driven to take a shirtless selfie and post it online or send it to friends. This pic would become the new redneck.jpg file and have the same effect as the original. It is unknown exactly how many different photos contain the virus at this time.

But I guess it’s starting to get to me now because I just realized, did I just infect myself to post this? And didn’t I just inject all of you who are reading this?…

Source: texassstudick

itsflyinglikeadragon:

“Hey bro, I’m Ry your room-mate”

“Thanks,” I said trying to pretend my happiness. Just from his voice I knew this wasn’t going to be good as these kinda of people were not good at all.

Later that evening once I had unpacked everything from the car, I sat down to read a book on my bunk. Thankfully it was the bottom one as I hated bunk beds.

I hear the door open and Ryan comes in, looking incredibly drunk already. I knew already this year was going to be hard. He stumbles towards the bed,

“Bro, look after this for me”

He placed his cap on my head and I nodded that I heard him over my headphones and he stumbles back out to join his friends.

I get up needing to use the bathroom and stretch a little. As I do, I stretched a lot and felt my muscles spasm a bit as I did. I put them down to my sides and walked towards the bathroom. I caught sight of myself in the mirror. I realised I was was still wearing Ryan’s cap.

I needed to stretch again and I did feeling all of my muscles stretch at the same time. I felt a bit hazy afterwards looked in the mirror. I had a tattoo on my neck which I thought was a bit odd as I would never do such a thing.

My mind feeling cloudy, strange thoughts came into my head. I couldn’t think so I went with them. I took off my jeans and underpants and then opened Ryan’s drawer and got a pair of red boxershorts out and gave them a sniff. Oh god you could smell him.

I put them on and then a pair of his shorts. Then I gave a final stretch and I felt it stretch my stomach. I felt a slight prickle on my arms and around the base of my neck.

I heard Ry open the door,

“Bro, looks like we’re gonna be good room-mates”

“Yeah bro”

I would wanna be changed by a roommate

Source: californication

itsflyinglikeadragon:

In my post locker was a strange black box with a note written on top. Opening it up, it simply read “wear this and meet at the gym changing rooms at 5″.

I got into the gym, and put my bad down containing the box. I hadn’t opened it, as I was quite busy during the day. I opened it in the box to reveal just a sports t-shirt, short, socks and some pads.

I thought it might be fun to put on, so I first of all put on the shorts, then the shirt and then the pads and socks.

“Hey bro, ready for the game?” I hear someone shout and my heart sank. It was one of the jocks I hated.

“Yeah bro” I responded without even realising what I said.

Wait, bro? Football? I sat down and thought for a bit as to what was going on. My head was getting foggy and I couldn’t think.

“Bro, are you comin or what?”

That was my call, better not let the team down

Source: sportynumbers

itsflyinglikeadragon:

Man I hated summer. Going out for a walk at 9pm in the evening and it’s still incredibly bright. Still, going out for a walk is better than not going out for a walk.

I saw looking into the road a pair of shoes. Walking up to them, a pair of black and red Nike Air Walk trainers. I don’t know why I was taking such an interest in them. They looked like they were a size 12, so much too big for my size 9 feet.

Still, I took off my shoes and slid my feet into them. Wriggling my toes in, the socks had become a little damp from presumably sweat from the previous owner, or something else.

They felt really nice and the damp on my feet started to tingle a little and my feet started to hurt. It felt like they were growing. I lifted a leg up, and my foot was snug in the trainer. I didn’t want to take them off though.

Slowly I felt it soak into me and float around, my muscles pulsing and growing. Then I heard something in my head. It was saying somethin, can’t think what. Sommert like fuck i’m hard like with me tracksuit on.

I looked down and saw I was wearing my grey with green striped tracksuit. Fuck yeah, I loved wearing these shoes, make me feet all nice n sweaty

poundthadawg:

white trash boys  | ↩ | ❌

She was part of the FBRC (Federal Bureau of Redneck Conversion) an organization who’s job is to find and convert the hold outs who somehow escaped the public, private, and college conversion programs. She pretended to be an interested woman and started dating him. He wasn’t nerdy but he was smart and that was not allowed. After several weeks of whispering in his ear while he slept and playing some “romantic tracks” that had subliminal messages in it while they had sex and boom. He was wearing ball caps, jeans, boots, and no shirt. After the conversion though she actually did fall for him and they continued dating, with him never even noticing the changes.

Source: poundthadawg

Another victim of The Voice

bodriversblog:

Just got this text submission from muscledjock:

Ever since I first listened to convert2jock.mp3 I’ve been getting INSANE pumps when I lift. Bro, it’s fuckin’ awesome. But I’m feeling dumber every day, especially when I lift. I feel so dumb for looking for the file… because I am dumb, a big dumb jock. Fuck, The Voice is taking over again.

Fuck, I need to listen to it again and lift, bro. Gotta becum big dumb jock. A fuckin’ meat head, bro. Getting’ fuckin’ jacked and jocked up, bro. Who cares about being smart, I’m gonna go lift with my bros. FUCK YEAH!

Beware The Voice. Or this could happen to you.