
It was always tough getting Duke in the bath. He would fight and resist like it was the end of the world. It was funny to me because back when Duke was my friend Brendan he was a real neat freak. I remember having to wait an hour for him to get all cleaned up and styled before we could go hit the clubs after a day at the beach. He was obsessed with his looks, with being clean and smelling good for the girls.
Now Duke is an outside dog. He spends his days rolling in my muddy backyard, romping in the flower beds, always an utter mess. You should see him after it rains. he comes trotting into the garage all wet and covered in dirt and mud stuck to his bare body and always wanting to hump my leg in that disgusting state.
I can’t really blame him of course. He doesn’t know any better. One look at that dumb face of his, the slobber down his chin, the tongue lolling out of his gaping mouth and it’s obvious the neat young man has long gone and Duke is no brighter than any other dumb puppy. You only have to watch him squat down in the backyard to push out a poo or lift his leg against the bushes and you know Duke is no Brendan.
But occasionally I have friends over and Duke needs to get a bit cleaner. And that means a lot of struggling and putting up with barking and even some growling from my old friend and current pet. I don’t hold it against him. I’m the one that decided Brendan needed a good dumbing down. I’m the one who slipped the drugs in his coffee to make him more suggestible. And I’m the one who guided him into a trance and told him all about his new life as Duke, a messy outdoor dog, and helped him to totally forget all about being Brendan, helped him purge his mind of every human thought.
Duke splashed in the bath as I scrubbed his bottom especially hard. My friends would be giving that area special attention of course. Another thing about Duke is that unlike Brendan he didn’t really care much about girls anymore.













